Tomato Soup & A White Tee

30 Jan

There is a treacherous corner I am required to navigate when travelling between my cave (aka my cubicle) and the communal break room.  The latter is understandably busy during the lunch hour; my co-workers are in a rush to use the sole convection oven .  (The unfortunate losers are left to settle for one of four microwaves.  If they’re really late, they have to wait in line for said appliances and you know what is said about “watched pots.”)

Most wintry days I eat some type of soup in order to infuse some warmth into my bones.  As many of you have already guessed, today I have tomato soup.  My choice of lunchtime nourishment allows me to avoid the melee at the oven.  

However, when I return to my desk I have circumvent the 90-degree bend (made more perilous because of the increase in foot traffic).  My head remains bowed as I walk, making sure the liquid in my bowl doesn’t spill on the carpet—or my white t.  But when I look down I can’t see the others barreling around the corner.  Luckily, if I swing wide enough there is a point when my shadow grows larger and darker, stretching out in front of me and announcing my presence. 

But what would I do if someone is travelling at such a high rate of speed that he/she doesn’t notice my shadow and collides with me—and my soup, leaving a gruesome, tomato-splattered crime scene?

Stop right there.  It was a rhetorical question.  I’ve already thought of all possible suggestions you could offer to assist me in my plight:

  1.  Put less soup in the bowl  (It is soup, people!  Who actually fills up on liquid?  I need to survive until 5:00)
  2.  Go to lunch at a different, slower time  (I’m hungry when I’m hungry)
  3.  Go around the other way, avoiding the corner altogether  (Then I’d have to navigate the door leading to our department.  Opening doors and carrying hot soup aren’t a good combination)
  4.  Wear a tomato-colored shirt  (That hue does nothing for my skin tone and, when you’re single, vanity will win over every time)
  5.  Continue on the same daunting path, swing wide and allow a shadow to announce my presence while praying that no one in IT/Accounting/Media is making a mad dash for the convection oven

I think everyone knows which one I’m going to choose; after all, we are creatures of habit.

(Yes, this is the type of thing I worry about and spend my lunch hour stewing over… this and eating tomato soup.)


Tell your friends to follow via email!  If we can get 17 more people before Feb 3 then I will put up an additional chapter of The Mirrors at Barnard Hall.  What am I talking about?  Click HERE to start reading from the beginning.


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